Once a girl named Sam wanted to go on a hike so after a while of thinking she got her stuff ready and left in the morning. Then she left in the morning when she got there she was looking where to start climbing when she found the right spot she started climbing at the beginning she was like I think i can do this then. When she got higher and higher she got a bit scared but she said I can do this. Then she let out a gasp has she reached for the next finger hold she could feel the sun on her shoulders. She was half way up the climb she began to get really tired her muscles were ached the sun was setting and she was nearly there so she said to herself. Come on Sam you can do this then after a while of climbing she made it!! so then when she was up on the top of the hill she had a rest so she got her phone out and stared taking photos of the sunset. So then she had to start to get down when she got down she had some water and got in her car and went home. The End
Ki Ora Selena, My name is Afatia and I'm from Panmure Bridge School in Aucland. I was reading your story and it was very detailed. I also liked how you used your puncuation in the correct way and in the correct places. I also liked hwo in the story the girl climbing didn't give up until she got to the end. What a powerful story about not giving up. Did you enjoy thig activity ? Keep up the great work!!
ReplyDeleteKia ora Selena,
ReplyDeleteI really liked reading this piece of writing, you have added a good amount of detail. It paints a good picture! I can imagine the warmth Sam is feeling when the sun hits her shoulders. Next time, try adding some more descriptive words to make it even more interesting! Well done
Miss Ribotton